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Writer's pictureFCC Grayson

Why I Love Being Your Pastor (P2)

I love being the Pastor at FCC because of the genuine level of care & concern the church elders have for me & my family on a personal level.



There are a handful of church elder meetings that have remained etched in my memory. Perhaps, more accurately stated: there are a handful of moments during elders meetings that are etched in my mind.


The majority are when someone, or the group as a whole, have expressed desires, exhortations, concerns, etc., about me personally and my overall well-being.

One of these times that has been etched so clearly, was when there was a long conversation regarding something that was not on our meeting agenda… A faithful brother took the moment to express his concerns to the group regarding me.

When he made the statement, "Ben, I am worried where you are concerned", a familiar pastoral lump in my throat developed. Most of the time, upon hearing these words, it was not a wholly positive thing approaching.


This day was different though. The worry that was in my brother's heart regarding me, was one not of something that I had or had not done, not in regard to something I did or did not say, or did or did not do, rather, he began expressing his concern about the ease of allowing the day-in/day-out pressures of leading a congregation into possibly forcing me to feel like I needed to be something different than who or what I actually was.

He, and others around the room, began expressing their appreciation for my authenticity of simply being who I was, and for not trying to be someone or something that I was not.

Then, one by one, they began expressing gratitude for areas of what they considered to be authenticity in my ministry, and my life.

I was overcome by the emotion of this moment. To be surrounded by a group of brothers on a continual basis that are concerned about their pastor's health, not only from a business, employee or congregational standpoint, but one of concern for my personal health, was something that was fairly foreign and unfamiliar to me. And moved me to my core.

What I think they realized during that meeting is that ours is a day of superficiality. If you can fake it, you’re often admired as being clever, not criticized for being phony. The ministry is no exception.


People trust ministers to be diligent and spiritually sensitive, to do their homework and think creatively, to remain fresh and innovative, to stay excited about their callings, faithful in prayer, and pure in their motives.


But the painful truth is that ministers can be lazy, indifferent, controlling, and mean-spirited at times. It’s easy to learn how to hide those ugly faces behind pious masks.


So . . . at the risk of appearing stronger than I am or coming across in tones too religious to be real, I’m going to risk sharing publicly a few promises to you that I made to myself after that meeting. A list that I modified from one written by Chuck Swindoll:


  1. First, I promise to keep doing original and hard work in my study. No hectic schedule of mine will rob you of a strong pulpit or Bible-teaching ministry. You deserve the best of my efforts.

  2. Second, I promise to maintain a heart for God. That means I will pray frequently and fervently. I will stay devoted to Him and to the things of my calling. I won’t simply talk about doing those things . . . I’ll do them.

  3. Third, I promise to remain accountable. Living the life of a religious loner is not only unbiblical, it’s dangerous. I am committed to being open with others of integrity.

  4. Fourth, I promise to stay faithful to my family. My wife deserves my time, affection, and undivided attention. Our now-grown daughter and son-in-law, deserve the same. I won’t forget that, no matter what.

  5. Fifth, I promise to be who I am. Just me. No amount of public exposure, positive or negative, will turn my head -- scout’s honor. If I start acting sophisticated, remind me how disgusting it looks, how ridiculous shepherds appear when they start using pious words, trying to strut their stuff. I plan to keep laughing, telling dad jokes, saying things a little off-the-wall, hanging out with those who aren’t impressed, and making a few mistakes from time to time.


I have my friends, the church elders, to thank for steering me to these thoughts. They deserves the credit.


I appreciate their guts to remind me, “Do your job, Ben, but make sure you take care of what needs to be taken care of.”


To warn me of potential pitfalls, to remind me that they are not ready to put an X across the face of another minister who feel into the trap of "thinking more highly of himself than he ought."


-Pastor Ben

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Tracy Deborde
Tracy Deborde
6 days ago

David and I were just having a conversation about you along these lines Sunday. You have to preach difficult messages at times, and your genuine humility and authenticity in expressing that you are in this with us, not preaching at us, makes receiving those messages very soft when it is a worldly inclination to get puffed up when we need a redirection or correction in something. Thank you for shepherding us in such a soft and loving way as we all go through life together.

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